the process of becoming not me

This is the story of my journey from who I was, to who I am, to who I am becoming. It is the story of how God is weaving together my life, heart, and circumstances to make me something different altogether.

It is the process of becoming not me...



Monday, March 7, 2011

The Story of Matthew Jadon

I always assume that everyone knows the story of how God put together our little family.  I was reminded again recently that so many don't know...and even more seem to have forgotten.  This is an OLD post with an "update" at the end...


The Story of Matthew (Gift of God) Jadon (Thankful) Davis

The story of how Matthew Jadon Davis came to join the Davis family is a story of God’s providence and guidance as well as a story of human obedience and perseverance. The story actually began a little over ten years ago when Danny and Stephanie first decided to get married. They knew that adoption was part of God’s plan for them to build their family from the very beginning and planned on doing so all along. Their adoption journey finally began though two and a half years ago. After pursuing the adoption of two amazing foster kids in Oregon for a year, they received the difficult news that an Oregon family had been chosen to parent those two. They were heartbroken but continued on the path they knew God had placed them on. Danny and Stephanie began attending seminars and filling out paperwork to work with Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services last March. In late November, they were matched with a birthmother. They eagerly awaited the arrival of the little one, but circumstances changed because God had other plans. Once again, they were disappointed and confused but pressed on. On February 29th, they were released from their official match with the November birthmother and their profile was given to another birthmother, S.

Monday, March 3rd - Danny and Stephanie received word that S had chosen them. They knew it was a God thing because she chose them as a result of their statement of faith and the way she could see them live that out. “Our relationship with Christ determines who we are and what we do.”

Tuesday, March 4th - Danny and Stephanie drove to Buckner’s in Dallas to meet S. It was evident to all that this was a clear match.

Wednesday, March 5th - They received the official word that S had agreed to the match and had a home visit by their case worker.

Thursday, March 6th - They went to see Phantom of the Opera in San Antonio, which was their birthday and Valentine’s present to each other.


Friday, March 7th - Matthew Jadon was born at 7:35 pm.

Saturday, March 8th – Danny and Stephanie frantically prepared their home for a newborn.


Sunday, March 9th – An entrustment ceremony took place and they took home their son!


S, Matthew’s birthmother, made the ultimate sacrificial and loving decision when she made an adoption plan for Matthew. She is a godly, Christian woman who was faithfully obedient to the word God spoke to her just three weeks before Matthew’s birth. Up until that point, she had not considered adoption but God told her that this child was not hers and that He had other plans for Matthew. She listened and desired to give Matthew the family that she could not provide. S, Danny and Stephanie all know that God chose Matthew to be Danny and Stephanie’s son. He was the son they had waited for all these years. God’s fingerprints, direction, provision, and guidance are all over this blessing. He is so good!


Thank you for sharing this with us. We cannot wait for you to watch and participate in this blessing as Matthew grows in wisdom, and stature, and in favor with God and with man.


To God be the glory,
Danny, Stephanie, and Matthew Davis

UPDATE:  That was 3 years ago.  In some ways, it seems like it was a lifetime ago.  In other ways, it seems like it happened only yesterday.  He was an infant once, right?

We still maintain moderate contact with his birthmother and half birthsiblings.  We saw them more the first year than any other year, mostly because it's difficult to get all of our schedules together.  I send lots of pictures and e-mails.  She responds but her "tone" varies and makes it hard for me to really communicate with her fully.  To be honest, getting together with the birthfamily is difficult, stressful, gutwrenching, and just plain emotionally exhausting.  We have never "hid" from Matthew that he is adopted.  We read adoption books to him and tell him his story but he seems completely uninterested and unable to understand.  Mommys being pregnant and giving birth seem like foreign and unnatural concepts to him.  When I tell him that so and so has a baby in her tummy and that he grew in someone else's tummy, he just says, "EWWWW! I don't have to go back in do I?"  I laid off a little after that response.  In spite of all my attempts, he doesn't know his birthfamily or understand his relationship to them. So, get togethers end up being awkward times when I stress over whether or not he will be friendly, affectionate, obedient, and so on.  And here is the honest, dirty, truth about the messiness of open adoption - getting together makes me recognize the fact that she deserves his love...and also reveals my selfish core that wants it all to myself.  I am always mindful of the hand of God placing Matthew in my arms.  How could I ever forget such a gift?!?! But at those moments, I am reminded that to place Matthew in my arms, He had to take him from hers.  I don't doubt that it was the best decision for Matthew and his birthfamily.  There is NO question that it was/is God's will but  I am confronted with the hardness of adoption instead of just the beauty...and it hurts.

Happier notes - Matthew is an absolutely incredible little boy! He is talkative (like his mom) and thoughtful (like his dad)!  He wears me out with his boundless energy, amazes me with his incredible memory and imagination, delights me with his hugs and kisses, challenges me to live out what I claim, and humbles me with his compassion, forgiveness, grace and mercy.  We have "school time" every morning.  He knows all of his letters, their sounds and how to write the capital version.  He can count to 20 and recognizes his numbers 1-10.  He knows where about 13 states are and can identify 5 of the continents and tell you major landmarks on each.  Geography is probably his favorite "subject".  He is fascinated with attractions from all over the world.  His favorites right now are: Eiffel Tower, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Chunnel, Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, Mecca, Isreal, Mt. Everest, Mt. Kilamanjaro, Parthenon, Pyramids, Statue of Liberty, and on and on and on. He LOVES to write his letters and label things with their words.  For science, he likes to study bizarre animals like sloths and giant anteaters.  He is AMAZING!

Oh and he has been praying for a brother or sister at least once daily for about 6 months.  One day, he saw a mailout from compassion or worldvision regarding orphans and wanted to know where their mommy and daddy were.  We told him that they didn't have one and asked him what we should do to help them.  (I expected him to say send toys, money, food, clothes, etc).  He immeadiately responded that we should give them one.  By the next morning, he was adament that he would share his mommy and daddy.  Do you see why this kid humbles me?  He has since declared that he wants 2 sisters and a brother and he wants them to be older then him.  (Evidence that adoption seems like the way families are made to him not birth!)  And he prays, "Thank you God for a brother or a sister"  with the sweetest, most sincere, heartbroken voice you have ever heard.  Adoption weighs heavy on the heart of our whole family...

Daily, I am amazed that a toddler moves me more quickly along in the process of becoming not me than anyone or anything else...God has a sense of humor!